It is with great joy and happiness that I report to you that the billionaire fake “conservative” donor David Koch has died.


David Koch, who built one of the nation’s largest private businesses with his brother Charles and pumped money into conservative groups to help reshape American politics, has died.

Charles Koch confirmed the news in a statement on Friday that referenced David’s long-running ailment.

“Twenty-seven years ago, David was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer and given a grim prognosis of a few years to live. David liked to say that a combination of brilliant doctors, state-of-the-art medications and his own stubbornness kept the cancer at bay. We can all be grateful that it did, because he was able to touch so many more lives as a result,” Charles Koch wrote.

Seriously, fuck this asshole. He had billions of dollars and what did he do with it?

He promoted a weird mix of open borders and “free markets.”

It’s laughable that this dead shill is being referred to as a “right-wing” donor. There was nothing right-wing about him and he conserved nothing.