We could certainly use some of that global warming we were promised! What the hell happened Al? I thought New York City was going to be under water by now!

For years I was told that the planet was warming and that we would all die if we didn’t reduce our fuel emissions. So where is all this so-called global warming I was promised? Or is this weather we are seeing a result of global warming? I think we deserve an explanation.

Temperatures across much of the United States have been extremely cold ever since I got back from Nigeria.

Niagra Falls has frozen.

Boiling water was instantly turned into snow on top of Mount Washington in New Hampshire.

There’s been all sorts of fuel shortages because of the sustained cold weather.

And we are currently dealing with a “bomb cyclone” storm on the Eastern part of the United States. I never even heard of such a thing until today.

It looks like Donald Trump made the right move by not signing on to the Paris Accord. Just think how cold it would be if he didn’t pull out of that!

The only good thing about cold weather is that brown people and niggers hate it. However, this type of sustained cold weather is a bit much. I don’t think it needs to be this extreme to scare off the monkey people. If this type of thing continues I believe we should be promoting policies that encourage global warming. We wouldn’t want a new ice age after all!